I just watched "The Princess Bride" every girl's favorite movie. Then a question popped into my head, "Why do I like it so much?" I know just about every girl will echo my words when I say, "What is there not to like?" But I also know that most guys have no idea why girls like it so much (I'll give the fellows a hint, it has almost nothing to do with swords.)
I'm a firm believer in that girls speak "girl-ese" and guys speak "guy-ese" and both have trouble speaking the other. Okay, so I'm going to try my best to explain to the guys in my audience as to, "Why girls freak out over 'The Princess Bride' and chick flicks in general."
(Step-1) I love definitions; so, naturally I decided to look up the word "love" on dictionary.com...
"LOVE: –verb (used with object)
15. to have love or affection for: 'All her pupils love her.'
16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. to have sexual intercourse with."
In girl-ese "love" takes the definition with number 16 and 17. I know this can be hard to believe, but a girl can feel very loved without ever being touched or kissed. In fact (husbands and wives can attest to this) if the husband is not careful in how he approaches his wife, she can often feel used and abused by her husband when he believes he is showing her "love."
(I'm going on a limb here, so I'd appreciate anything the guys have to say on this!) In guy-ese "love" usually takes the definition with number 19 and 20. I know this sounds strange to my female readers, but it's true. It's not wrong! Please understand that. This is how God created our men to think. In as much as it is NOT wrong for girls to think the way we do; neither is it wrong for men to think the way they do. In both cases we have to control what we allow into our minds as thoughts.So, why do girls love "The Princess Bride"? Because in "The Princess Bride" the characters speak in perfect girl-ese the meaning of "love". Girls place enormity on words, but not just in what you say, but how you say it. If you text "i luv u" it will be sweet, but not really carry any weight. However, if you look us in the eye, demand our full attention, and say, "I love you," it will carry all the weight in the world. This is why, my dear gentlemen, you must guard your tongue so carefully. Something you say jokingly can literally break a girl's heart (I know, having nursed one of my best friends through it).
With that said, I would REALLY appreciate anyone's comments on this topic -- especially my male readers -- because I want to make sure I've explained this as best as I possibly can! :)
10 comments:
I know this is a little... ramblesome, so I really hope it made sense!
I will say, you came so very close to being 100% right about the guys thoughts on love. However, where most guys think of love as being physical, you must dig deeper into the origin of that mind set. The desire in guys hearts to love and be loved works somewhat differently: guys want to be looked up to and thought well of. Also, we want souly to KNOW that we are thought of and loved as such. To achieve that goal, a lot of guys try to be offensive in the matter and try to be affectionate in their own way. In MY case, the desire for physical love is very great; however, it is not the most important thing in this regard. If I was told that I would die tomorrow, I wouldn't go to someone I love and kiss them; I would tell them that I loved them (mainly because I already know some of what you mentioned before). Being physical is one of the strongest ways to show love; but, words can carry just as much (if not more) weight as being physical. Once again, in MY case, I have a desire to love my future spouse. So, I will need to be careful to balance the two methods of showing love. Sadly however, most guys do NOT think like this, and will stress physical expression more than meaningful words and alternate methods for showing affection. So to conclude, I would say that you came very close to getting it all right. But just remember that even though guys and girls think and act differently in the regard of love, they still have the same key desire to be loved in the first place.
Thank-you so much! 99% of this post was on reliable speculation; so I'm incredibly thankful that someone stepped up to correct me. I know for girls we want to be known as precious and valued rather than esteemed.
If you don't mind, could you give some examples of how a woman can show love to a man? I know most WIVES don't even know how to do this properly because we're so different...
Hmmm, that's a tough one; but, I will try. As you said, men tend to stress physical love; and women more words, gifts, and quality time. In MY oppinion it's just a matter of learning love languages as you said in a previous entry. But, a universal way is for the girl to be the instigator of physical love every now and then. It's almost alarming when the guy feels like he's the only one giving love. And on the flip side, guys need to instigate romantic conversation and other means of romance to the girl. It's like a chemistry formula; one wrong measurment, and it will start to go haywire.
Another thought that came to mind after reading the entry again was that wives should not reject the physical love that their husdands give them. The guys mind set when givng physical love is along the lines of "When I give her physical love, I feel so elated because I am showing her that I love her." On other occasions it is along the lines of "When I give her physical love, I feel wonderful; I'm sure she must feel the same way." That is one of the key reasons that you find wives feeling used; because there isn't a balance between the methods of showing love. The thing to remember though is NOT to REJECT the love that the husband is giving. It would be the same as the wife telling her husband "I love you" and the husband not responding. If a wife feels that there is too much physical love going on, she should be open and try to make it clear that there should be a balance, WITHOUT BEING HARSH OR UNAPPRECIATIVE. What I'm about to say is not to schedual a relationship, it's just an example; if a couple has intimacy four or five times a week but there is no quality time or words of affirmation, there are bound to be problems eventually. However, if there is intimacy two or three times per week, along with regular words of affirmation and quality time, I would guess that both parties would be happier and more satisfied.
Again, I am not married; this is all just my speculation as a guy.
I wish you could have been here while my mother was reading this... I had to physically restrain her from repeatedly striking her forehead. See what I mean when I say "Wives have no idea how to 'love' their husbands," and she's been married for 20 years!
Thank-you SOSOSOSOSOSOSO much for all of your help! There was no way that I could have known all that.
Your very welcome; I'm happy to help in any area that I am able. All you need do is ask (I'm always watching for it ;) )
It's no wonder that this movie, and the Twilight saga are so popular. All Wesley,Edward, and Jacob do is profess their (undying in some cases) love for Bella and Buttercup,in ways that would make most any girl melt.(hmm,ever notice that both of their names start with a b?:)
-Kaci E.
I know it's so cheesy, but I love the ol' "profession of undying love" :S *Typical Girl* XD
*giggly whoo-hoo dance* lol :)
-Kaci E.
Post a Comment