Thinking in Poetry

I dug up this old poem from one of my journals. This came from an entry in 2010 -- a time when I had just emerged from my first great trial. This trial taught me the first step in listening to God: read His Word and obey.

Greatest Lord, who loves me so --
You love me more than hearts doth know.
You care for me and love me and show me the way to go.
Your care is gentle and steady -- as the wind's constant blow.

Everything I could need is at Your command:
Wants, hopes, dreams, and the bravery to stand.
You will never run out; You will never run dry, and
I know everything goes exactly the way You planned.

Your name is great and mighty, Lord.
None can stand againast You, not the mightiest hord!
Your justice and mercy sweep across the board --
For every knee must bow and tongue confess, You are Lord.

Let hearts not deny -- let Your glory dome down!
Let me be captive in Yours ways -- in Your grace let me drown.
Live in me, O Lord, see how I have grown.
May You be seen in me -- not an unscrupulous clown.

All nature is poised to do as You say,
And my only heart's desire is to show You that I obey.
May those who seek You from day-to-day
Find Your grace and know, "Jesus is the Way."

You provide for me, Lord, all that I need.
All in Your portion, be it bread, water or seed.
Those who ask You, surely You shall feed
So that I and my family may go and do Your deed.

Replace LIES with TRUTH

     My mother once told me stories of a spiritual battle she waged over twenty years ago. This battle paralyzed her with fear, dread and hopelessness. This was a battle of the mind -- a battle of the soul. This battle could not be won by natural means: medication, counseling, or personal willpower. When in the midst of a personal struggle, how do we fight? What can we do to drag ourselves out of the "Slough of Despond" or the "Depths of Despair"?

      In a word NOTHING.

     There is nothing that we a humans can do to pull ourselves out of the spiritual quagmire. When fear and lies are flying around our hearts and minds, there is nothing that we can do of our own volition to return to "happy times and joyful thoughts." BUT we are not without hope. The only way to win this battle is to replace lies with truth. Fill your mind so full of the wonderful promises of God that there is no room for sadness and doubt.

     The way my mother fought was to wright a scripture verse on a piece of paper or a notecard. Whenever she felt the surge of defeat and gloom, she would pull out the card and read it over and over -- filling her mind with the promises of God. She would do this constantly, changing out the verses as necessary, until her spirit grew strong. Eventually, her mind was so full of the wondrousness of God that she no longer needed the notecards -- her mind was one giant notecard, filled with the character of God!

     I have been waging an internal battle of my own. Having learned from my mother's experience, I have taken to carrying a little pocket-sized notebook. During my devotions, I will write down the Bible verses that I find particularly helpful -- or hopeful. When the fear and depression begins to weigh on me, I read what I wrote -- I fill my mind with the Truth of God.

     This is the way battles are fought; this is the way they are won! Is it easy? No. Is it fast? Sometimes not. But, these are the tools that Christians have. We have the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside our hearts -- this is a hope no unsaved person can experience. Jesus Christ has already won the war; our job is to pursue God in our battles, day by day. Christ is faithful, and He will never abandon us to despair.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. --Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

Psalm 13

     I don't think I've ever shared any of my personal favorites when it comes to Bible verses. Here is my absolute favorite Psalm. I remember memorizing it for a contest at youth group. The pastor challenged the youth to memorize an entire chapter of the Bible -- pointing specifically to the Psalms. I was one of only five people out of the fifty to seventy-five member youth group who took on the challenge (I wish I could say I participated out of noble motives, but the pastor had promised food as a reward). I chose this Psalm because it seemed an appropriate length -- not too short and not too long.

     I think it was four years (or so) later that this Psalm really began to impact my life. I had been going through some dark spiritual struggles. Everything in the world seemed stacked against me; people I trusted were betraying me; I felt trapped by life. What made it worse? Whenever I prayed, it felt like God wasn't listening to me. I remember crying out and feeling like there was no point to praying other than God commanding it. But, I remembered this Psalm:

Psalm 13

¹ How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

² How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

  

³ Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
⁴ And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.

⁵ But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

     No matter how dark and attacked I felt, I knew God was faithful. I didn't FEEL it emotionally, but I KNEW it technically. Coupling this knowledge with the facts that God cannot lie, and God cannot forsake His children meant that God saw my pain and was with me the whole time. It certainly didn't feel like that was what was going on, but I knew God was putting me in that position for a reason. My job was to simply trust that God was (and is) bigger and smarter than me and to trust that He knew what was best for me.

     Now, several years later, I can look back and see how that was a period of growth for me. I would not be the woman I am now if it was not for that time of testing. I learned how to trust God no matter what my emotions are telling me. I learned how to pray -- and I mean really pray! -- to God about what is going on around me. I also learned how to have a personal devotion with God -- up until that point I had never spent time reading the Bible for myself. These are priceless traits that God taught me through those bleak times.

     May this be an encouragement to you in your dark hours. There are many other Psalms like this and many more that have completely different feels and purposes. What's your favorite Psalm? Share it in the comments below!

The "Real" Christmas

     Well, Christmas is right around the corner, and far be it for me to be the only one who hasn't done a Christmas Post. The biggest issue for me this time of year is using this period to rest in the Lord. It's too easy to get stressed about making sure everyone is happy, earning money to buy Christmas gift and making sure I've bought everyone's gifts. I love giving gifts -- even more than getting them! -- and it is very easy for me to freakout under the pressure of wanting to get something for everyone... especially if I can't afford to get everyone something.

     This is the sad part about Christmas; forgetting that it's not about buying people gifts because you want to show you care, it's not about having family get-togethers with good food, it's not even about helping those in need around you...

     Christmas is about Christ. I know that sounds cliché, but it's easy to say, "Christmas is not about 'stuff,'" but there are a lot of good things that happen around Christmas that STILL are not what Christmas is about.

     Someone asked me the other day if I was looking forward to Christmas. This year, I can honestly say I am NOT. Not in the normal sense of "looking forward to Christmas" anyway. In my house, Christmas has always been about family. Family is something very special for me -- almost sacred --  because I don't have any. I have a mother, a father and a sister -- which is more than some people have, sadly -- but I do not have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins or anything else like that anywhere near me. I've never understood what it's like for families to "go to Grandma's house for lunch" or to have a sleepover with my cousin. The only family I have lives almost a thousand miles away.



     So what makes this Christmas different from all the others? Every year, since I was born, my Grandparents -- the ones that live a thousand miles away -- have visited my family and me for Christmas. They and Christmas go together for me. This year, they have finally become too -- I think "frail" would be the best term -- to make the trip. I will be alone this Christmas.



     This realization, as sad as it is for me -- I cry whenever I think about it -- has cause me to think about what Christmas is about. I'd always heard it was about "spending time with family," "being kind to those in need," "having good time and hot food with friends," but now that those things have been taken away from me, I have been trying to think about what to do with my Christmas.

     Then I remembered. Christmas is about Christ and NOTHING else. Christmas is about remembering and celebrating the time when Jesus was born. Even more so, to remember that Jesus was born so that He could die -- paying the penalty of sin for the entire world! When I am reminded of this, how can I be sad that I am alone this Christmas? This was the first step in Christ's conquering death!

     If you're like me and find yourself alone this Christmas -- or even if you're not alone! -- remember what Christmas is REALLY about. Jesus Christ. Take time to read about His birth (I dare you to read it in ALL the Gospels, each one's a little different!) and, if you have time, read His Passion also. Sing some -- what I like to call "Real" -- Christmas carols -- the Christmas Hymns. With the time left over, pray. Pray for your family -- even if you don't know who they are. Pray for the persecuted Church all over the world. Pray for the military families that will be separated during Christmas. God will bless you for remembering and honoring Him.

A Moment's Notice

If you had only a few minutes to decide what you were going to do with your life, what would your first instinct be? Would you ask God? Would you panic? Would you continue doing what you've always done? Would you pick something radically different?

Sometimes we have only a few seconds to make a decision that could impact someone. God is always there to ask any question at a moment's notice. What's even better is that you can ask Him anything in a fraction of a second! That's the beauty of having a God that can read minds and hearts.

Battling Temptation

I got this brilliant idea from (you guessed it!) Leslie Ludy (Answering the Guy Questions)!

I tried this out, and it really works!

How often are you faced with the temptation, "Wow. Check him out! I wonder what it would be like to date him..." rapidly it escalates into a dreamworld about this person when you're not even sure if he's a Christan. I get hammered with that one ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I just want to say, "Satan, can't you come up with any new tricks?" I can picture him saying back, "But you fall for this one every time!"

There's the rob. As a girl not only trying to save her physical purity for marriage, I'm also trying to save my emotions and heart for my husband. When traps like this pop up, it's SO SO SOOOOO tempting to sit and dream away when what we're really doing is staining our hearts.

I know the above is a problem with which girls struggle; guys on the other hand, I know struggle with physical fantasies more than the emotional. Wanting to look and lust is an extreme battle (as is girl's emotions.)

But... BUT! There is a remedy! It's brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Doing this will take effort and concentrations, but the rewards are

#1 A closer relationship with God
#2 Stronger, more PURE purity for your spouse
#3 A beautifully threatening weapon against evil

Ready? (It's so simple, I don't know why I never thought about it before!) When you are faced with a temptation with someone of the opposite gender, PRAY. I know it sounds trivial, but trust me when I say IT WORKS!!! Don't pray for the person causing the temptation (that only causes your thoughts to linger and makes the temptation stronger -- I know this from experience!) but instead INTENSIVELY pray for someone you know is having a tough time.

What do I mean when I say pray insensitively? Pray specifically. If you know a family that is having some financial trouble, don't just pray, "Lord, help them, Amen." Pray like, "Lord, this family is having trouble. Help them to earn more money if they need it. Help them to learn to rely more on You if that is your reason for allowing this to happen to them. Please, make sure they have enough food to go around. Let them be able to pay all their bills," etc. Praying out loud helps too.

If you pray like this every time you are faced with a temptation of the mind, you will find yourself so wrapped up in your prayer that the temptation is no longer a temptation AND to be sure, Satan will not be happy to know that his attempts to make you fall turn you into a prayer warrior for Jesus Christ!

Chicken or the Egg?

I just saw one of those "un-answerable questions" and I felt the urge to tell the world that I know the answer to the age old question, "the chicken or the egg?"

Ready?

SINCE God created the world and everything in it, He created both the chicken and the egg.

(Genesis 1:20) "Then God said, 'Let the waters teem with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens.'"

Chickens are birds, so we will group them with the birds (no brainer.) Therefor God directly created the chicken -- not the egg first.

This is a rather trivial question. What's important is that we know God created everything! He's in control of the world -- whether we like it or not. And we can get blessings by working with Him or curses by working against Him.

I for one want to be blessed. So here's the REAL question: How can I know if I'm working with or against God?

#1. Are you praying in accordance to his will?

That question sounds a lot harder than it actually is. To pray in accordance with God's will simply means that when you pray, "Thy will be done," you really mean it! If you want to go to NYC and become a supermodle and you pray, "They will be done," you have to be okay with the fact God might want you to scrub floors in a hospital in South Africa. Not that everything is always that "extreme" but we have to understand that if we REALLY want God to do His will, we've got to be okay with wherever He puts us, whenever He puts us there.

#2. (Do I really have to say this?) Are you being the best example of Jesus Christ that you can be?

WWJD I'm sure everyone remembers that from our 3rd grade Sunday School classes. But that acronym has many more ramifications than it is given. When Jesus saw people selling in the temple, he took the time to braid His own whip to drive them out (and who says Christian shouldn't get involved in the military!) When Jesus was eating with sinners, none of them felt scared or judged, rather, they loved Him. Now our big question is, are we behaving in the same way Jesus did? Do we "love the sinner, hate the sin," or do we wrap everything together and hate the sinner too? Do we allow people to walk all over out beliefs, or do we stand up and fight for what we know is right?

Those two points pretty much round everything off. Pray so that you know what to do, then behave in the best manner as you do it. (Told you it was pretty simple.) The hards part of all, however, is... You have to do this every moment of every day. Live the life. Sure, we makes mistakes and fail all the time, but as my youth pastor once said:

"Imagine life as a race. All of us Christians are running to the finish line (heaven). Don't run just to finish, run like you're gong to win. If you run like you're going to win, you'll try a lot harder than if you're just running to finish."

Motions

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

("Motions" by Matthew West.)

I really like this song (even though it is totally out of my music genre). When I hear those words it makes me want to stand up and fight! It inspires me because I know that I do not want to go through "Christian Motions" -- no, I want to live Christ with every fiber of my being! As I like to say, "It is not me, but Christ IN me."

I was praying last night and I was feeling weak and insignificant. I started just talking to God...

"Lord, I feel so small. I feel like I don't mean anything..." I prayed, as I did, thoughts started filling my head, kinda like God was talking back to me.

"Well, aren't you small?" the thought came.
"No! I'm not supposed to be am I?"
"Are you?"
"Well... yes, I am small."
"Yes you are. Now that that's out of the way, what should come next?"
"Next? What do you mean?"
"We have established that you are tiny and helpless. Right?"
"Yes, I am helpless, there's nothing in me that is mighty."
"Yes and no. You of yourself are weak and helpless, but I AM in you aren't I?"
"Yes you are. You're HUGE! You made the world and everything in it!"
"Yes I did. And I AM in you. The less YOU you put in my way the more I can shine through you."
"I see. So, You are strong in me, even more so when I'm weak. Right?"
"You got it."
"Well then, Lord, I need You to be strong in me right now, and carry me through because I am too weak of myself to do it."
"Christine."
"Yes?"
"I've been here the whole time."

Our problem so often is that we pray to God, but forget to let him take the reins. We say, "Oh Lord, help me!" then go off and do our own thing. The most difficult part of prayer is really TRULY allowing God to consume us, to the point where people can't see "us" anymore but "God in us." That is why my motto is "Be the best example of Jesus Christ that you can possibly be." After that point God takes care of everything else -- literally!

But, that step is so frightening. Like Matthew West put it, "This might hurt, it's not safe." A lot of times doing what God asks it terrifying -- think of all the things he asked the men of the Bible to do! -- but no matter what God says, we have to obey because it serves his greater glory. Too often we ask God, "Why? Why are You doing this to me?" but as humans, we don't deserve anything. We deserve to burn in hell; so a much better question would be, "Why not? Why does anything good ever happen to me?"

Knowing how shortsighted even the wisest of humans are, I'm so glad God has my fate in His hands. I'd mess everything up (and quite often I do, be getting in God's way to me.) By far, the best life to live is the one where you allow God to do whatever He wants with you. Trust me when I say that you'll be AMAZED at how He works everything for the good.