Motions

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

("Motions" by Matthew West.)

I really like this song (even though it is totally out of my music genre). When I hear those words it makes me want to stand up and fight! It inspires me because I know that I do not want to go through "Christian Motions" -- no, I want to live Christ with every fiber of my being! As I like to say, "It is not me, but Christ IN me."

I was praying last night and I was feeling weak and insignificant. I started just talking to God...

"Lord, I feel so small. I feel like I don't mean anything..." I prayed, as I did, thoughts started filling my head, kinda like God was talking back to me.

"Well, aren't you small?" the thought came.
"No! I'm not supposed to be am I?"
"Are you?"
"Well... yes, I am small."
"Yes you are. Now that that's out of the way, what should come next?"
"Next? What do you mean?"
"We have established that you are tiny and helpless. Right?"
"Yes, I am helpless, there's nothing in me that is mighty."
"Yes and no. You of yourself are weak and helpless, but I AM in you aren't I?"
"Yes you are. You're HUGE! You made the world and everything in it!"
"Yes I did. And I AM in you. The less YOU you put in my way the more I can shine through you."
"I see. So, You are strong in me, even more so when I'm weak. Right?"
"You got it."
"Well then, Lord, I need You to be strong in me right now, and carry me through because I am too weak of myself to do it."
"Christine."
"Yes?"
"I've been here the whole time."

Our problem so often is that we pray to God, but forget to let him take the reins. We say, "Oh Lord, help me!" then go off and do our own thing. The most difficult part of prayer is really TRULY allowing God to consume us, to the point where people can't see "us" anymore but "God in us." That is why my motto is "Be the best example of Jesus Christ that you can possibly be." After that point God takes care of everything else -- literally!

But, that step is so frightening. Like Matthew West put it, "This might hurt, it's not safe." A lot of times doing what God asks it terrifying -- think of all the things he asked the men of the Bible to do! -- but no matter what God says, we have to obey because it serves his greater glory. Too often we ask God, "Why? Why are You doing this to me?" but as humans, we don't deserve anything. We deserve to burn in hell; so a much better question would be, "Why not? Why does anything good ever happen to me?"

Knowing how shortsighted even the wisest of humans are, I'm so glad God has my fate in His hands. I'd mess everything up (and quite often I do, be getting in God's way to me.) By far, the best life to live is the one where you allow God to do whatever He wants with you. Trust me when I say that you'll be AMAZED at how He works everything for the good.