Be What You Say

     What people say and what people do, unfortunately, tend to be on two opposite ends of the spectrum. I believe everyone is guilty of that; either you are lying to yourself or you are lying to those around you. But there is another aspect as well, perhaps one says these false perceptions of self because they want them to be true...

     For example, there is one gentleman I know who is constantly professing, "I do everything I can to understand people. I leave my biases at the door and listen to what people say the way they intend it to be heard not necessarily the way it comes out. It is my duty to hear what people mean." If one takes this statement at face value, this gentleman sounds like one of the greatest communicators in the world, for indeed, that is the way communication should happen. People garble their words all the time -- often saying things that are very rude or hurtful -- but never intending to BE rude or hurtful with their words. 

     Sadly, my friend is renown by all who know him to be the most difficult, hard nosed communicator they have ever met. His skills in understanding what is said and speaking in a way that can be understood are so ineffective that he is forever hurting those around him and frustrating himself.

     Why does this happen? Pride. Using my friend again, his pride in his communication skills blinds him to his errors. He believes that his mode of communication is virtually perfect, any other modes are inferior. Therefore, he believes that if he is not understood it is the listener's fault; conversely, he will put any message he hears through his internal filters, re-interpreting what was said into what he feels it meant.

     This self-blindness caused by pride limits the relationships around him.

     How does this apply to us? In short, be wary of pride. One of the most difficult tasks is recognizing pride in ourselves. Therefore, find a friend or mentor -- a good one, who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If you do not already have one, pray that God will send you one -- He is faithful to fulfill our needs. Allow this friend to point out your flaws in brotherly love. Our goals in life are to be the best representatives of Jesus Christ that we can be and to bring God glory. By allowing this friend to reveal the faults that we do not see, it gives us the opportunity to work on those problems.

     Now that these problems have been recognized, don't just talk about the right actions, DO THEM.

"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?" (Matthew 7:16 NASB)

    It is not enough to TALK about doing the right thing; one must actually DO it. Sometimes, it is something that can be fixed easily; more often it is a process. It takes time to learn another mode of behavior, but do not fear! The reward of growing in righteousness is infinitely more than the difficulties of changing. And do not be discouraged, God will be your strength.

"Because I master all things by The Messiah who empowers me." (Philippians 4:13 Aramaic Bible in Plain English)