Pop Quiz!

Okay, let's see how well you've been paying attention. I found this symbol and I wanted to see how many of you, my lovely readers, recognized it for what it is...


Props to whoever figures it out! Comment with your guesses. I'll comment the answer in a few days or so :)

Guy Talk

I love it when I'm reading a magazine and they have a section usually labeled "Guy Talk" where they have a bunch of guys state their opinion on something. I decided to do my own take and did a poll at my youth group...

The question was "What are 3 physical characteristics you find attractive in a girl and 3 spiritual/personality characteristics you find attractive." The entire experience (having never done a survey) was quite entertaining. I have a feeling I should have asked a slightly different question like "What are attributes you look for in a wife," but too late for that now ;D

I will say to anyone interested in doing a survey, it's not as scary as it probably sounds, and just about everyone is willing to give it a try!

So here's how it'll work: I'll put a "P" in front of the phrase for "physical" and a "C" in front for character. I'll end with the age of the person I interviewed.

P: Nice Smile, Good Hygiene, Pretty Eyes
C: Funny, Kinda Smart, Mature
-three 16-year-olds

P: Takes care of herself, Smells Good, Clean Hair
C: Positive, Faithful, Not-superficial
-18

P: I think Glasses are cute with pretty eyes and a smile
C: Sense of humor, has the gift of service, understanding
-16

P: Soft Skin
C: Cooks
-17

P: Long Hair, Not Taller than me
C: Funny, but can be serious, not demanding
-a 15 and a 14 year-old

P: Short hair, Virgin, knows how to play games
C: Christian, Smart
-a group of 14 and 15-year-olds

P: I like a girl with long arms. I think it's cool when girls wear backpacks too.
C: Loves Jesus, Smart, and likes James Bond
-16

P: Pretty Face and Fit
C: Honest, Out-going, Kind-heart, Christian
-15

I interviewed around 40 guys 14-18 and overwhelmingly the physical characteristics that attracted them the most were, face/eyes/smile (I think guys just say "face" to include everything) and hair. The personality characteristics that about 80-90% of the guys said were funny/good-sense-of-humor and smart.

Now, my intention with this post was NOT to get a bunch of girls to change themselves into something guys might find "more attractive". Notice that none of the terms are defined; what do guys consider "pretty" was not my question. I just wanted to have a little fun and get some variety of opinion.

Sibling Harmony - Step 2: Who Do I Love?

Okay, we went over WHAT love is and HOW we be and show love; now comes the sticky part: who do I love?

According to Jesus, "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44) and, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31b)

So we are to love both our enemies and our neighbors. That ought to include everyone on the planet. Therefore we are to love everyone. The point I'm trying to push is, "There is no reason to NOT pursue a good relationship with your sibling." I know this is kind of overkill to prove my point, but I can't tell you how many screwy sibling relationships I've come across... Two Biblical examples would be:

1) Cain and Able. Everyone knows the story of how Cain became so jealous of Able that he took his brother's life. If Cain had loved his brother, there would have been no conflict! (See Genesis 4)

2) Jacob and Esau. God works everything to the good, yes, but if these brothers had been looking out for each other in stead of trying to usurp each other there would have been a lot less heartache, trouble, pain, and division.

In our modern-day world, even in our very own Christian circles, I see children and families torn apart by enmity between brothers and sisters. I say (especially to the older siblings) THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT PURSUING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SIBLINGS!!! That means no matter the difference in gender, age, personality, beliefs, or anything else, as siblings, God has put you together under the same house TO HELP AND ENJOY EACH OTHER!

For the young children: God wanted you to have a best friend; so, He gave you a sibling. I'm serious! No matter how different you are from each other, God wants you to -- not just be friends, but be best friends.

For the youth: right now you are preparing to be good husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, you'll get no better practice than maintaining a good relationship with your siblings. You think it's hard to get along with your brothers and sisters? Wait until you get married! If you don't have the resolve to at least attempt (and I mean to continually attempt) to love and be love toward your siblings -- your own flesh and blood! -- what business do you have in trying to love a spouse!

For the adults: at this point there isn't as much opportunity to be love to your siblings, but there is still no excuse for not pursuing a good relationship. If you or your sibling has move far away, you must be open and put in some effort to show the other sibling that you care and want to have a healthy relationship. If the other sibling is not interested in a relationship with you, don't give up on them, but do not hound them either. Be open and make sure that they KNOW that you truly do care.

Love like this applies not only to siblings, but to EVERYONE. I wanted to harp on brothers and sisters, but in all reality, as Christians, we are to pursue a Christ-like love to all the earth: from terrorists, to homeless, from preschoolers to millionaires. Everyone is included in this mix and we are called to love and be love to everyone.

Link to Step 1

Worth -- Self-esteem -- Self-image

Anorexia and Bulimia are rampant among the young girls of today.
Arrogance and Pride are just as rampant among the young men of today.

How are they connected? These are two polar opposites of the same thing: self-worth. Let me attack this from BOTH ends...

Before we become saved we were/are worthless. There is nothing we could ever do to earn our salvation. There is nothing we could do to please God. We were little specks of nothingness that were worthy of eternal damnation without hope of relief. HOWEVER because of Jesus Christ's perfect sacrifice, we were given worth. Without Jesus, we ARE worthless. To Arrogance and Pride, how dare you EVER think that you could "impress" God. How dare you ever think that as a puny human you could have anything of value to offer anyone or anything? Suck up your pride! Pride only shows your stupidity, the stupidity that you could (by your own strength) ever amount to anything.

Now that I've beat up on the Arrogant :D Let's lift your spirits...

Jesus Christ was the perfect sacrifice. In our worthlessness, God loved us. He loved us so much that he sent His one and only Son to die for us. Because of God's love, we are filled with worth. We are worth the life of Jesus! In our nothingness, God thought that we were worth a life, the perfect life! In that knowledge raise your head and sing! The King of the Universe believes that you... YOU are special beyond all else. To those who believe they are ugly and disgusting, without Jesus, yes, you have assessed yourself correctly, BUT with Jesus, how dare YOU think yourself disgusting! How dare you think that Jesus' life was not enough to make you beautiful! How dare you think the Jesus' love is not enough to make you wonderfully special.

Now, how do we merge these two aspects into a Righteous lifestyle?

1. You must understand that on your own, you are a sick nothing. Do not boast or brag, nor be filled with pride and arrogance. You only show off your weakness of spirit.
2. You must also understand that when the blood of Jesus Christ covers your sins, you are a precious, beautiful, new creation.
3. With these in mind, never boast of yourself, but take pride in the God who saved you. For who has more worth than God Himself?
4. Knowing all this, do not count yourself greater because you are saved. If God didn't save you, you'd be just as bad as everyone else. Yet, do not count yourself dust among everyone else, for God DID save you, and it's a slap in the face if you don't take heart in it.

I guess the best way to think of it is: on the outside, be very humble. Never brag of your abilities, never be proud, and never boast of your own strength. On the inside, in your heart, know the new worth you have in God's eye's through Jesus. Take joy in the new strength -- not your own -- and new beauty that is yours to own.

See how these two thoughts merge into a balance? When you begin to think like this you begin to understand that every gift is a blessing, and there is no job that is "beneath" you.

Sibling Harmony - Step 1: What is Love?

Since St. Valentine's Day is coming up I thought I'd do a post that will get my throat cut XD. I have to do a lot of building to prove my point, so please bear with me...

I've said many times before that love is a choice. You choose to love someone whether or not they deserve it, whether or not you feel like it. So how do you start?

Everyone knows 1Corinthians 13, but let's look at it as a list, Love is:
Patient
Kind
Not Jealous
Does not Brag
Is not Arrogant
Does not act Unbecomingly
Does not Seek it's Own
Is not Provoked
Does not Keep a Record of Wrongs Suffered
Hates Unrighteousness
Rejoices in Truth
Bears All Things
Believes All Things
Hopes All Things
Endures All Things
Never Fails

Some list, huh? Let's break it down into applicable terms...

Patience means:
to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart
to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles
to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others
to be mild and slow in avenging
to be long suffering, slow to anger, slow to punish

Therefore to love means to be slow to anger, to bravely endure misfortunes, and to be slow in avenging.

Kindness means:
to be friendly, generous, or warm-hearted
to be sympathetic or understanding; charitable
to be humane; considerate
to be forbearing (self-sacrificing); tolerant
to be agreeable; beneficial

Therefore, to love means to be friendly, generous, understanding, and self-sacrificing.

Jealousy is to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, or anger. The opposite of this would be to be to be glad for others, to be content, and to be (guess what) loving.

Bragging means to boast. Boasting is a prideful, vulgar showcasing of one's own abilities. Need I say that Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins? Need I say that since we are petty humans worthy of eternal punishment, what gall must I have to even consider that my abilities are something to be thought of as "WORTHY"? Love is humble and modest.

Arrogance is the unabashed show of pride. It's application is similar to bragging, but more drastic. The opposite of arrogance is humility.

Unbecoming is similar to childish in its meaning. To act unbecomingly is to act childish. Therefore, love does not act childish.

Seeking one's own means a lot more than simply being selfish. When you "seek your own" you are using people and circumstances to your advantage regardless of whom you will be hurting or crushing. Love goes beyond such petty thoughts and seeks to build up others rather than using people.

To provoke is to make someone angry at or scorn something (or someone). When someone is loving, they don't want to look down on people in a scornful way, but instead, they want to view that person as an equal or even give honor.

I hardly think I need to even explain this one: keeps no record of wrongs suffered. You know what I'm talking about; when someone can recall every injustice suffered at the hands of another, that is NOT love. Love forgives and refuses to linger in past faults. That does not mean love is stupid and does not care about character -- far from it -- but love does not view people as less because of their wrongdoings.

Righteousness and Truth. People who are examples of true love do their utmost to be righteous examples of Jesus Christ and refuse to tolerate sin. It is FAR FAR more loving to show someone their sin rather than ignore the problems. A loving person also cares about truth; being plain, straight forward and not devious. If you truly love someone, you would never deceive them.

Bears, Believes, Hopes, Endures. True Love will hold up against any hardships -- unfalteringly. To believe all things does not mean "believes anything" but "believes the best of all things." When you hear a rumor (true or no) do you defend that person? or do you believe the worst? Hope means "trust"; love trusts -- not anyone or anything -- but when you are showing love, you must be willing to place some amount of trust in that person. Also, love will endure through any storm. Meaning that love will have the strength (bear) to continue on (endure) through whatever trials may come and no matter how long.

And lastly: Love Never Fails... I find no need to expound on that. True love, TRUE LOVE will never fail to carry all these things out.

Showing love is no simple task, but it can be done with God. This is all that I will put in this post, but I will build in my next...

Link to Step 2

Anti-Love Language

Are you having trouble figuring out what your love language hierarchy is? I sure did, but then I did what I used to have to do in arithmetic: work backwards. What do I mean? Let me show you...

The five basic love languages are:
Quality Time
Words of Encouragement
Physical Touch and Closeness (this is actually two SEPARATE things, but one language)
Gifts
Acts of Service

(I went through personality/life/behavioral languages in a series of posts called "Am I Loved?")

So how do you know which is most important to least important? Usually it's easy, but sometimes you can't make up your mind between two: "Am I Gifts? or Acts?" I found it easiest to think, not which makes me feel best, but if someone were to deliberately neglect one, which would make me feel worst? Sounds a little crazy, but think about it...

If your #1 love language is Words of Encouragement; then, if someone gave you DIScouraging words, that would hurt more than anything else.

If your #1 love language is Gifts; then, if someone forgot to get you a gift for whatever reason (for a birthday, Christmas or an Anniversary) it would make you feel terrible.

If your #1 love language is Acts of Service; then, if no matter how many times you asked someone to do something and they didn't, you'd feel betrayed.

If your #1 love language is Quality Time; then, if you were completely left out of a conversation, you'd feel worthless.

And lastly, if your #1 love language is Physical Touch and Closeness; then, if no one ever wanted to be around you, or hug you, you'd fell rejected.

See how it works? Now know that it is just as important to INCLUDE someone in their love as well as make sure you don't EXCLUDE them. For example, if someone's love language is acts of service, AS WELL AS doing things for them, accept it when they do things for you. It can be just as damaging to have your love rejected as well as having no one give love.

Mealtime Musing...

I was just thinking... I come from a Mediterranean family and meals are EXTREMELY important to us. Sitting together as a family a sharing a meal with each other, its even better when we've cooked it together also.

For the past very long time, I've been unable to eat with my family and I see how it's distanced me from them -- similarly it's happened when my father has been too swamped with work to eat with us. When we don't take the time to SIT down at the kitchen table and eat, as a family, we grow apart. To me, meals aren't just "fuel your engine time" but rather a time to set aside the tasks of the day, rest, enjoy something to eat, and most importantly talk to each other. Table talk is quite often the best talk of the day. Everyone gets to share what they have been up to, what they plan to do; we discuss up coming events or ideas for the next day; we catch up on news from friends and family.

Taking the time to have a meal with your family is extremely important! We tend to get so caught up in our projects, activities, work, and social life that we forget to spend time with the very people we live with. I used to work 6 days a week at a restaurant: meaning I was never home for meals. I was perhaps putting in a total of 8 hours during the week (I've got activities two night a week so there went even more time NOT at work). As the weeks and moths progressed, I slowly realized that I had no idea what my family was up to. I no longer knew how they were doing; how they were growing in the Lord. Did all of my time simply vanish? No, but the "get-to-know-each-other-time" had.

Mealtime is the fundamental call to the household, everyone MUST be HERE at THIS time. It's comforting to both young and old to be able to rely on this as a constant in our crazy, hectic schedules.

Patriotism

Here's something to inspire just a little patriotism in all you 'folks out there...